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Threesomes, can they work in reality?

Submitted by Vanessa on March 29, 2009 – 11:12 pm3 Comments

ThreesomesMenage a trois, ‘gang bang’, group sex or threesome – the performance of sexual activity between three people (sometimes more). This can involve the three people merely touching and kissing each other, to complete penetrative sex. It is a common theme in many peoples’ fantasies, but when it comes to bringing a fantasy such as this into reality, there is much to consider beforehand.

Firstly, if you (or your significant other) have decided that a threesome would be something you would like to experience, it is optimal to consult your partner first. Many people do not go for something like this, as they see it as betrayal, they can become less trusting and gain a lower self esteem. But others aren’t. If you are with somebody who shares your views and would also like to try a threesome then you both need to prepare, and the first step is reassurance between each other.

If you wish to try it for a onetime thing, but you are involved in a relationship, then you need to figure out firstly why you want to try it, and secondly that there would be no lack of feelings between the two of you as a result. Sometimes, such an act can cause psychological pain, and so it is wise to make sure you eliminate any thoughts of inadequacy or mistrust first.

After you have made sure your relationship is stable, and you are both in it for the fun and experiment, you will need to find yourself a third party… This can sometimes be tricky, since the man would want another woman and the woman would want another man! So you will have to decide what gender your third person is to be! Then it is a case of choosing who. It is wise to go with somebody you know and trust. While there are potential downsides to this, there are many benefits. You can be sure that they are disease free. You can probably trust that they will be able to remain discreet. You will also perhaps be able to gauge better, who among your friends would be interested in something like this, rather than a stranger – that is not to say, go to all you friends and ask them if they’d like to join in! You may subtly probe your closer friends – ask them about fantasies etc, that they might have.

Finding your third party may be the most difficult part, but if you are willing to risk it or wish to remain anonymous there are adult ads you can post on various websites whereby you can advertise your ideas! But always make sure to check the person out and be assured they are trustworthy. Failing that there is always the choice of ‘professional’ help. Using a prostitute can help with the reassurance for both partners. You can be sure that unless you wanted to organize a second time a prostitute will be as discreet as possible and you don’t risk any messy emotions or feelings becoming involved.

Next, you set a time and a place and then go with the flow! No one is obliged to go through with anything – a threesome can also involve someone simply watching you and your partner make love.

If you are single and wish to be involved in a threesome, you can – at your own risk – scour the ads as aforementioned, as there will probably be someone advertising just what you want! Alternatively, you can subtly find out from your friends I any of them are searching for the same thing, by joking and asking questions, even if you end up just being the voyeur for someone – it’s a start!

Whatever you decide to do, you are in control of what and how much happens. It can possibly make your (or your partners) fantasies come alive, and ultimately bring you closer! Just be sure that you are both fully aware of what you’re getting involved in. Its one thing to fantasize about a threesome but more than one solid relationship has been brought to it’s knees by bringing someone else into the bed!

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3 Comments »

  • DReadron says:

    At 48 (I am now 52)…a 3-some just sort of happened…M2F…if you keep your mind open and are NOT JEALOUS…it is a great experience (and if you would have asked me this question 10 years ago – I would have told you that you were nuts…lol)
    There is a difference between sex and making love and it is fun to turn someone else on…and get a perspective of others while watching…elevates your own relationship even more…who would have thought! Just be safe and “no means no” if something is done that you are uncomfortable with…set the “rules” up beforehand….

  • Katie says:

    Its not that difficult if your bi and your relationship is not too heavy. Most of my bfs luv that Im bi (ofcourse) lol

  • Tom M. says:

    My wife and I had several threesome experience, it takes alot trust, I definitely don’t recommended if anyone shows a bit of insecurity.

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