Everything seems perfect about your partner…except for the sex? When you’re happy in so many other ways, it can be tempting to believe that bad sex is no big deal. But make no mistake, this can be a relationship killer. Remember what they say about the big 3: Money, Sex, and Children. If you’re not together on those things, your relationship doesn’t have much of a chance. But before you give up, work on it! Improving your sex life is totally within your power.

You must maintain a sexual component in your relationship that is satisfying, in order to maintain intimacy and a connection that will last far after the fairy dust of a new relationship has worn off. Rule number 1: Moving in together or getting married will not solve any sexual problems you have. In fact, it’s likely to make them worse, because familiarity usually causes a drop off in sex. If your sex life is not all that great, it will lead to other problems outside the bedroom such as frustration, resentment, and a distancing between you two.

So now that you’re convinced to work on the problem, here are some common problems and ideas to help synchronize you two sexually and improve that part of the relationship.

1. It doesn’t feel that great. If your partner isn’t doing things for you that turn you on or get you where you want to go, it may be due to embarrassment. Everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for the next. It can be hard to know which of those individual buttons to push to make you moan. Rather than fail, your partner just might not try hard enough. The best way to share what you like is to demonstrate what you do when you’re alone. Most people love to watch their partners masturbate, so don’t be shy. As you get aroused, you may want to let your partner participate…that’s up to you!

2. Mismatched equipment. If there’s a mismatch in equipment, the best way to solve it is by doing some positional strategizing. A less-than-long penis is usually enjoyed best in the missionary position, with the lady’s legs up towards her chest for deeper penetration. For a narrow penis, place the lady on her back or stomach with legs closed together, putting the mans legs outside hers. That will create a tighter fit. A too large penis can be accommodated best with the lady on top, so that she can control the depth. Also be sure you’re plenty aroused before penetration – arousal engorges everything and gives a sense of fullness.

3. Boredom. Sometimes people limit their “wild” sexual experiences to one- night stands or meaningless hookups. There may be some reluctance to bring that kind of raunchiness into a stable relationship, thinking that it will cheapen the relationship in some way. Sex experts assure us that not only is that not the case, it’s very important to incorporate some wild sex into a healthy long-term relationship, because it banishes boredom. The first step is to start talking about fantasies you’ve had that you might like to try. These might include sex toys, role playing, or kinky adventures. Watching a movie of people doing what you’re considering can be a good way to explore the idea together.

4. Low libido. New research has shown that about half of people need to get turned on mentally in order to move to physical contact, while the other half of people need to get turned on physically in order to get turned on mentally. You may need to take the first step of making physical contact, kissing and cuddling, before you’ll start to really feel in the mood. A change of pace or scenery can also jump start the libido. Try doing something totally new together, like kayaking or go to some new place you’ve never been before.

5. Non-sexual problems. There may be other things interfering with your sex life such as your own fears and concerns about the relationship. If you don’t feel happy in the relationship and want out, your sex drive will go down. If you have a history of negative sexual experiences, you may have trouble overcoming them even with the best of partners. If you two are fighting a lot lately, or feeling jealous, resentful, or neglected, all of these things will definitely affect your sex life. If these things might be happening in your life, don’t force the sex issue. Try to get whatever it is that’s bothering you out on the table to talk about. If you can resolve it yourselves, wonderful. If not, there are counseling resources for couples that may be able to help you sort out your differences.

Just a reminder that sexual problems don’t tend to simply clear themselves up, so it’s important not to shove them under the rug hoping they’ll just go away. Dealing with these problems may not always be pleasant to do, but it’s the only way to move ahead towards enjoying that awesome sex life you’ve been hoping for.

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It’s almost that time of year again, the Christmas decorations have been up for weeks and the weather is either heating up or cooling down depending which side of the world you’re on. When it comes to Christmas you can have a lot of fun with stocking fillers. You don’t need to spend a fortune to come up with some fun, flirty and sexy gift ideas for your lover this Christmas. Here’s our run down of sexy stocking fillers for under $10!

Sexy Coupons

These sexy I.O.Us can be cashed in for various sexy favours at a later date. Make your own and you can personalise the favours to include anything your heart desires from household chores to that kinky thing your partner just loves! Check out these fun coupon books including bedroom bucks, stripper bucks and blowjob bucks!

Batteries

Not exactly the most romantic gift but we all know how disappointing it can be when your new toy doesn’t come with batteries. Slipping some batteries into the Christmas stocking is a simple way of making sure things will keep buzzing on Christmas morning!

Lube

This super-slippery gifts make a great stocking filler. A water-soluble, condom-friendly formula lube is best and can be safely used with all types of adult toys, condoms, and other items. If anal is more your thing then get a specific anal lube.

Something Kinky

If your after something a little more kinky then how about some bondage tape or wrap, this stuff is great for impromptu restraints or even making your own kinky skirt or top. Non sticky and reusable is the gift that keeps on giving! Whether you or your partner want to try out bondage fantasy toys or you’re old-school kinksters, the Candy Ball Gag is a sweet way to spice up your play!

Toys

Sex toys don’t have to be expensive to be fun. A small cheap bullet can be fun, this 2″ one is water proof so it’s great for some bath time fun. You can even pick up a small finger vibrator for under $10 that would make a great addition to any toy collection. For the man in your life how about a masturbation sleeve? Or for the more adventurous how about some anal beads?

Looking for something else? Check out these other ideas for some great stocking fillers for under $10!

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Many women mistakenly think that there is no good porn for women out there. They find most porn to be full of ugly men, women with fake boobs and too much makeup, and a serious lack of plots or interesting characters.

They also complain that the women never seem to enjoy themselves and that the porn is always about the men’s cum shots.

However, over the last couple of decades, porn made by and for women has become increasingly available. In fact, porn for women is capturing more of the porn market, because, interestingly, both men and women are buying it. To find porn for women or couples, however, you have to look outside the mainstream. Mainstream porn isn’t going to satisfy most women’s tastes, so you have to look a little harder to find the good stuff. Isn’t that the way life usually works?

One thing to keep in mind is that women’s taste in porn varies widely. Some women enjoy degradation, for example, while others are completely turned off by it. However, female directors of porn are producing better options for everyone because they understand what turns women on.

One of the first female porn directors was Candida Royalle who produced films with a plot, real bodies, attractive actors, no cumshots, and women having orgasms. Today, more directors are producing a wide range of films featuring different types of sexuality. For example, Kimberly Kane produces “dirty and hot” movies, while Madison Young combines intelligence, BDSM, and art in all of her films. Camille Crimson brings out the best in oral sex and Tristan Taormino features strong female sexuality in her work. Shine Louise Houston is a specialist in queer porn and puts the mainstream lesbian porn out there to shame.

Since 2006, the Feminist Porn Awards have been finding and rewarding good porn for women based on the following criteria:

. A woman must be involved in production, writing, or direction
. It depicts genuine female pleasure
. It expands the boundaries of sexual representation on film and challenges stereotypes often found in mainstream porn

Following are a few sites that offer good porn for women or couples:

• Porn for Women @ Stockroom
• Porn for Couples @ Adam & Eve
• Good Releasing

You can also try looking under couples porn or porn for couples at your favourite adult video store.

The final note is that you may have to try more than one of these directors or films to find the ones that work best for you – don’t give up, there’s a lot out there to choose from and something’s bound to turn you on.

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Hint: It’s not the same thing as love!

Jealousy is such an unpleasant emotion! Most of us have felt that sick, painful feeling in our stomachs at one time or another, telling us that something is very wrong. Jealousy usually happens when a new person comes on the scene and our partner seems attracted to them, or they seem to be attracted to our partner. Both situations result in the original partner feeling insecure. Sometimes jealousy can present itself as anger towards the new person, the “interloper,” but really the foundation of all jealousy is insecurity and fear: a fear of losing one’s partner to someone else, and/or a fear of being alone.

This fear can be quite strong and scary. After all, we enjoy being with our partners and the thought of losing them to someone else is painful. To many people, the thought of being alone and without a partner at all is terrifying. So many of us, both men and women, go from partner to partner to partner, never really experiencing what it is to live alone, perhaps believing it is impossible to live a happy life without a partner. For all these reasons, jealousy rears its ugly head and makes us feel miserable.

As a result of these common beliefs, many people think jealousy is natural and understandable. Some people even equate it with love: “If my partner isn’t jealous of me, he must not really love me,” or “I’m only jealous because I love my partner and want to keep him or her with me.” However, what is less commonly known is that some people don’t feel jealousy at all (yet they still love their partners very much), and others have learned to deal with and overcome their jealousy (yet they still love their partners very much). Whether or not you believe jealousy is natural and understandable, wouldn’t it be nice to be free of the green monster for good?

The good news is that it is possible to overcome jealousy. It may take time, and some help from your partner, but it can be done – and counter to the beliefs above, it will significantly enhance the bond you have with your partner.

Being less jealous, and therefore less fearful and less controlling with your partner, will create a more loving relationship between you.

Overcoming jealousy is both an individual and joint effort. This is because although our fears come from inside ourselves, our partners and others around us can reinforce our fears or help us feel less fearful with their actions and words. So it’s important that you both agree that jealousy is not the same as love, and that there are better ways to show you love someone than by getting jealous. Reaching this agreement is an important step towards overcoming jealousy: merely agreeing it is not a productive emotion, and starting the conversation about jealousy.

Then it’s time to talk more specifically about what makes you jealous and why. Your partner can’t help you overcome jealousy if they don’t understand what you are thinking. Which means it’s important that you do some soul-searching so you can tell your partner exactly what it is that’s making you jealous.

When you find yourself feeling jealous, rate your fear from 0 (not at all afraid) to 10 (extremely afraid):

• How afraid are you that the person making you jealous will take your partner away from you?
• How afraid are you that you are not as [good as] [pretty as] [handsome as] [sexy as] this other person?
• How afraid are you of not having a partner at all?

Figuring these things out for yourself and sharing them with your partner is the biggest step towards eliminating jealousy from the situation. In most cases, the threat is more imagined than real. Sure, the new person may seem exciting or good looking, but that doesn’t mean your partner has any intention at all of leaving you for that person. Get it out in the open and share your feelings. After all, if you can’t talk honestly with your partner, are they really the right person for you? If this new person really is a threat to your relationship, shouldn’t you know about it before things get worse? If you treat each other with care and sensitivity (i.e., listening and reflecting, not accusing your partner of anything or reacting defensively), you will increase the intimacy between you. Being vulnerable with each other is one of the greatest ways to strengthen your bond.

Of course, it is possible that one day your partner may indeed become more interested in someone else than in you. It does happen. Learning how to deal with that reality will be an even bigger step in eliminating jealousy from your life forever, and is the subject of our next article:

Overcoming Jealousy: Believing in the Power of YOU.

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There is a direct connection between sexual activity and psychological as well as physical health and well-being. We’ve all heard Marvin Gaye sing about Sexual Healing, but just what did he mean? It isn’t just about good sex, but how sex is good for you. There are a number of differences a good and active sex life can make on your psyche as well as your physical health.

Firstly, the key to a good sex life is developing intimacy with your partner. There is a certain closeness and connection that a couple feels for each other that they do not share with others. This intimacy is key to a good sex life, and it’s what makes the difference between just sex and real intimacy.

Achieving the closeness requires that both partners are open with each other from the start. Being honest as well as occasionally vulnerable can increase the feeling of connection. Men are well known for hiding their feelings and problems, being reluctant to talk and trying to deal with things on their own. However, this can lead to emotional problems, which in turn lead to a lack of sexual activity due to stress and worry.

If a couple is open and tackles problems together, the weight of the issue is not just borne on one person’s shoulders. Both will feel much better for having shared it with each other. This helps create a more ideal psychological state for sexual intimacy, as well as less distraction and yet another shared connection, which brings the couple closer.

Once openness and closeness has been established within a relationship, good sex will flow thereafter! Sex is not something that can happen once or twice, or on an irregular basis, if you really want to experience all the benefits to your health. It is something that should happen often and truly be an expression of love for each other – this is not just the 5 minute quickie before work in the morning (although there is no denying their medicinal properties either) But closeness comes from the longer romantic sessions in the bedroom that last and make a couple feel as one.

In turn, the regular flow of sex allows the body some relief. Energy is expelled that may otherwise get pent up and come out in other, less beneficial or destructive ways (such as arguing). You will find yourself much happier in general as well, since physical pleasure and orgasm releases hormones such as Oxytocin and Serotonin, which are the ’happy’ chemicals released in the body. Oxytocin is also linked to the powerful pain killing effects of orgasms. Sometimes an orgasm a day really does keep the doctor away!

Sex is a form of exercise as well. No matter how slow or fast you move, calories get burnt off, the heart rate quickens naturally with excitement and the internal workings of your entire body are stimulated, which results in its own little workout. This is not to say sex can replace regular exercise, but it is a good additional activity! There have been studies showing that sex lowers blood pressure and might even protect against strokes because of its stress-relieving ability.

The spiritual and psychological aspects of a good and healthy sexual relationship are what makes a person feel more fulfilled and close to their mate. This is why sex will cheer people up, especially those who have long-term partners or spouses. There is a great amount of good that a close intimate relationship can do, not only for the individuals involved, but for the couple as a unit. Sex can be a great replacement for arguments, the distance that sometimes comes in a relationship – such as choosing to watch TV instead of being intimate, and it is a great form of communication, even if not a word is uttered. Some speculate that a good sexual relationship can also help a person live longer – although that has not been scientifically proven as of yet.

So what are you waiting for? Make love to better health!

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Happy New Year to everyone, we all wish you the best for the coming year! Being New Year it’s the perfect time to re-evaluate your relationships and make any changes needed. It’s also a great time for setting some resolutions!

Now, it doesn’t have to be the New Year to resolve to make your relationship better or your partnership more connected.

No matter what time of year it is, you might consider a fresh start or just some improvements to the way you act toward each other and the little things you do for each other that makes you both so compatible and united. The following are some ideas for your new resolutions for your relationship.

Making more of the little things.

This includes the things that demonstrate your affection for each other. The little spontaneous kisses, hugs, strokes and caresses that your partner never needs ask nor expect you to do. Resolve to do more of these, not in a smothering manner, but enough to really let your partner know you love them and desire physical contact with them.

Compliments.

Often it is something that is taken as a given. You think your partner is a great cook or looks wonderful dressed up or smells nice one day. But many don’t ever even think of opening their mouths and telling them so. A great resolution is to compliment your partner more. It has you thinking sincerely about your partner and what you love about them, and you can put a small effort into telling them something that will mean a lot to them. A daily compliment is a wonderful way to tell your partner how much you love them.

Sex.

No matter how comfortable a couple becomes with each other, either just living together or married, they should never let their sexual relationship fade away. Make a point to create and fulfill sexy dates at home or out, and make sure to have a grand finale in the bedroom! Sex is an extremely important part of any intimate relationship since it is the ultimate physical expression of love. Rekindle your sex life by opening up that imagination and putting forth the effort to experience some love! It should be one of the top priorities in a relationship.

Do not neglect yourself.

Even in a relationship, it is important to remember your own needs and wishes. Do not get bogged down doing everything in view of your partner’s happiness, because you will forget your own happiness. Ultimately, your partner will be happy if they see you happy. While you should tend to each other, you must both tend to your own ambitions too. This will create a team spirit between you and you can both work toward achieving each other’s wants and wishes. This way, everyone is happy without being selfish or demanding, but while fulfilling the other’s needs as well as having your own satisfaction.

Arguments.

Fighting can become a major hindrance in a relationship, and so it may be a great move to resolve to argue less. Easier said than done, yes, but with a calm composure on both sides, conflicts can be resolved easily with some adult talk or the realization and determination between what is really important in life. Does it matter that something was not put back in its place correctly, or that dinner was ruined once? They are the small and insignificant things in life. While sometimes it can hurt, it is not that important in the grand scheme of things. Therefore work together in avoiding any arguments and remaining calm no matter what.

Listen to each other.

A big deal in relationships is listening. You always hear stories of people complaining about their partner who never listens to them. Well, with just a little effort, you do not need to be one of these people. When your partner talks, just listen. Acknowledge what they said and take heed. If asked to do something, do it, no matter how boring the task, the sooner it’s done then it is out of the way and everyone is happy! Listening can also be an important part of getting to know each other. Hearing your partner’s thoughts, feelings and opinions might give you insight into how they really think and what they feel. It is a great form of communication, even without speaking! Resolve to listen to your partner more and you will find how much better life can be together.

By using your imagination, you can make up some resolutions of your own too. More personal ones will differ from person to person. Therefore only you can decide what you relationship needs in way of improvement and take actions toward achieving it.

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