Perhaps you have been curious about visiting or just finding a BDSM dungeon near you. You may not want to freely talk to your neighbors or colleagues about your desire, and you may even be harboring a little shame or regret for your interest. Don’t! Instead, you should realize that BDSM dungeon play is becoming ever more popular, safer, and more acceptable as organizations strive to provide safe dungeon environments and membership clubs.

Google is useful for a lot of things. Yet when it comes to searching for sexual interests and platforms, you may get more from a website like www.fetlife.com. This will help you connect with like-minded individuals to find local dungeons that are deemed safe and conspicuous.

The first thing to expect as you visit a BDSM dungeon is a little bit of anxiety on your part. If you have never been before, then certainly you will be nervous and insanely excited. You might want to contact the organization director and ask for a copy of their rules and regulations first. This will help to put you at ease and most BDSM dungeons have these rules to ensure the safety of all their members. Many of the larger and more organized dungeons also give new members orientation tours so that they know what to expect at the first party. The Dungeon master, hosts and monitors working for the organization will likely be more than happy to answer any of your questions, so don’t be afraid to talk candidly with them.

If your BDSM party is located outside of someone’s home, chances are you may see swings, spanking benches, crosses, and tables. For obvious reasons, you will be responsible for gathering your own little bag of goodies. The dungeon master can be a great source in helping you to get started on collecting items that you enjoy. You can also easily find and purchase items online.

Most clubs and organizations require a great deal of discretion on the outside, which means you will be required to dress appropriately until you are inside. The dungeon set up normally has a holding area where people can get to know each other and enjoy snacks or drinks before entering the dungeon itself. This is a great place to acquaint yourself with other people, knowing full well that they have the same fetishes as you do. Like most clubs or organizations, reputable dungeons also have fees. The fees normally vary depending on whether you are a man, woman or couple and depending on what your sexual desires in the dungeon may be. Fet-Life encourages people to offer their volunteering services to dungeons if they are unable to foot the bill for membership or event fees.

Speaking of events, BDSM dungeons have tons of them. In an effort to appeal to all people with varied fetishes, they will likely have many different themed parties going on in a month’s time. Before you decide explicitly for or against one of these events, get to know some of the other members so you understand the fetishes being offered. Remember to keep an open mind as well knowing that you will see all sorts of people, from all walks of life once inside the dungeon. The people there will also be dressed in a wide array of outfits and may or may not fit into your idea of the perfect body. The general rule of thinking in a BDSM is not tolerance, but acceptance and openness.

One of the nice benefits to joining a BDSM community is that you can learn a tremendous amount about what is available to you locally and otherwise. Many of these groups offer workshops and classes to help you get the most from your BDSM experience or even create a play space of your own at home. Your first experience with a BDSM dungeon should be safe and most importantly resonate with your tastes and fetishes. You will find that the people at this play spaces will be eager and willing to help you feel comfortable.

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It’s almost that time of year again, the Christmas decorations have been up for weeks and the weather is either heating up or cooling down depending which side of the world you’re on. When it comes to Christmas you can have a lot of fun with stocking fillers. You don’t need to spend a fortune to come up with some fun, flirty and sexy gift ideas for your lover this Christmas. Here’s our run down of sexy stocking fillers for under $10!

Sexy Coupons

These sexy I.O.Us can be cashed in for various sexy favours at a later date. Make your own and you can personalise the favours to include anything your heart desires from household chores to that kinky thing your partner just loves! Check out these fun coupon books including bedroom bucks, stripper bucks and blowjob bucks!

Batteries

Not exactly the most romantic gift but we all know how disappointing it can be when your new toy doesn’t come with batteries. Slipping some batteries into the Christmas stocking is a simple way of making sure things will keep buzzing on Christmas morning!

Lube

This super-slippery gifts make a great stocking filler. A water-soluble, condom-friendly formula lube is best and can be safely used with all types of adult toys, condoms, and other items. If anal is more your thing then get a specific anal lube.

Something Kinky

If your after something a little more kinky then how about some bondage tape or wrap, this stuff is great for impromptu restraints or even making your own kinky skirt or top. Non sticky and reusable is the gift that keeps on giving! Whether you or your partner want to try out bondage fantasy toys or you’re old-school kinksters, the Candy Ball Gag is a sweet way to spice up your play!

Toys

Sex toys don’t have to be expensive to be fun. A small cheap bullet can be fun, this 2″ one is water proof so it’s great for some bath time fun. You can even pick up a small finger vibrator for under $10 that would make a great addition to any toy collection. For the man in your life how about a masturbation sleeve? Or for the more adventurous how about some anal beads?

Looking for something else? Check out these other ideas for some great stocking fillers for under $10!

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I am a member of OkCupid.com, a very open and liberal dating site that I enjoy very much. I got a contact from a kinky guy who was coming to my city for the summer, and did I want to meet up? From his profile, I thought, no way, no way at all. Physically he wasn’t my type, and he seemed to be all about pain. He is a “top” or dominant, which is fine, but he just sounded kind of scary, so I ignored the mail.

He continued pursing me via email, and when he was already in town, he wrote one more time just suggesting we have a coffee so I could give him some ideas of cool places to visit. I agreed. However, I came up with an escape plan, should I not feel comfortable with him. I came dressed to go to a new club that was opening that night, and would make my excuses early and leave if I wished.

Well, he turned out to be amazingly nice! Unlike his profile, he was warm and funny, and more attractive than his photos. We got along really well, and I found myself inviting him to the club opening with me. We had a wonderful time, and there was no hint of pressure or dominance about him. We just enjoyed each other thoroughly.

So, we kept going out, and the topic of his kinkiness did come up. He was a real expert, having spent years as a leader in the scene in his hometown. I liked him so much and he seemed genuinely interested in not going over my limits (pain being one of them). I am not personally interested in pain, and he seemed to completely respect that. I decided to give it a try.

At first, when we were making out, he just started whispering in my ear what he wanted me to do. That was cool and a great way to begin. I had no problems with his requests, since they were mostly about taking off his clothes and touching him in certain ways. Then it was my clothes that came off. After I got used to that dynamic, he brought out his toy bag. In there he had a steel quill, which he used to draw little designs on my shoulders, which he kissed each time he finished. It didn’t break the skin at all, just left little red lines in the shape of the flowers he had drawn, which showed up for a few hours later. That was cool.

Later, he told me to find some silky ropes that he would pay for. There are websites that sell these kinds of things, and I quickly found some soft violet ropes. He is an expert in Shibari, or Japanese rope bondage, which appealed to me. I never realized there was so much to BDSM that doesn’t involve pain. Anyway, he started out slowly, tying up only the upper half or lower half of my body, and then having his way with me. Frankly, I think what turned me on most of all was how turned on HE got by tying me up! I also liked feeling helpless while he did what he wanted. I think many women enjoy that sensation; maybe a lot of men do too.

During our final “scene” together, he tied up my whole body, which was quite a sensation. It took a very long time, because Shibari is meticulously put together, one knot at a time. The time and anticipation is really a big part of the thrill. I was sad to see him have to leave and return to his hometown at the end of the summer, half a world away.

After each scene we did, we’d spend some time talking about how we felt, if my limits were expanding, anything new I noticed or wanted to try. I think this kind of communication is critical to success in a relationship such as this. The other key was his experience and talent. This guy knew exactly what he was doing, which made me feel very safe. I’m not sure I would enjoy it as much with someone totally new to it, but I’m not sure. I haven’t had any further experiences yet, mainly because I haven’t had the time to invest in finding someone so experienced and compatible with me.

I do know that I am a more open and confident person because of these kinky experiences. In fact, I feel like I touched a side of myself that has been repressed all my life, and it was very nice to set that part of me free. I do recommend people try it, but not hastily and not with just anyone. It’s important to spend time learning about the possibilities (the web is full of information!) and discussing your interests with your partner. You always have to feel safe and in control. Being kinky is not about being forced to do anything: it is entirely consensual. If that foundation is in place, it can be a really mind-blowing experience.

Want to give bondage a try?

BDSM Gear @ Stockroom
Kinky Bondage Toys @ Adam & Eve
Bondage & Fetish @ Eden Fantasys
Bondage and BDSM @ Love Honey
Fetish @ Wild Secrets

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Sex toys are a great way to liven up any sex life with a partner or just on your own. They provide pleasure in a number of different ways as well as variety and they are certainly not just for use when your alone! Here’s a list of ten of the best toys to invest in which will no doubt spice up your love life together! Always remember to take good care of your toys and always clean them after use and they’ll last longer to give you more pleasure!

1. Vibrators

Vibrators, although typically seen as a solo toy can add spice to a couple’s sex life. They can be used in various ways on either partner and are perfect if the lady has fantasies about a menage-a-trois! One of the most popular vibrators to ever grace the top shelves, the Jack Rabbit consists of a vibrating shaft with a pair of little ‘rabbit ears’ which curl onto the clitoris when the shaft is inserted. There have been many variations of this toy throughout the years with the latest becoming more and more sophisticated!

A new player on the market is the We-Vibe, this unique vibe is designed to be used with your partner. This hands free vibe conforms to the female shape allowing a penis or dildo to easily fit into the vagina along with the We-Vibe with one end stimulating the G-spot and the other the clitoris. There’s a reason this one has won so many awards, it’s great for couples and perfect for solo play. Personally, this is the best toy I own! A must buy!

2. Penis Extensions

The penis extension comes is a toy that a man wears on the end of his erection to provide a larger feel for the woman, while he too enjoys himself. They come in a range of different styles and textures but personally I love the feel of Cyberskin, it feels just like human skin. A penis extension not only makes a man feel larger it also reduces the sensations for the man and so can help him last longer.

3. Vibrating Cock Ring

Complete with a little bullet vibrator and a couple of small batteries, these latex or plastic toys are made to fit snuggly onto the penis. Sometimes the ring by itself will vibrate as you make love, but often these little rings come with appendages ‘ears’, ‘fingers’, ‘tongues’ etc which will tickle and tease the clitoris for a more electrifying sexual experience. The vibrations also serve the man in that he will be provided pleasure at the base of his penis as well as the top.

For the more adventurous there are the rings that come with small dildos attached. The result: when the man’s penis is inserted vaginally, the vibrating unit will be positioned over the woman’s clitoral area, while the dildo will be positioned below – just right for anal penetration.

4. Anal Plug

An anal plug can be fun! For a man the pressure the plug causes against his prostrate will provide a potentially different feel to his orgasm and may also make it stronger and more intense. For a woman an anal plug can provide some intense sensations and allows her to explore double penetration. Similar devices that serve the same purpose are anal beads and dildos although for beginners to anal play an anal plug is a great place to start!

5. Remote Control

Discreet and ultra sexy! Remote controlled toys can be used wherever you wish, meaning you can pleasure yourself or your partner while out shopping, riding a bus or doing the housework! Just try not to make too much noise! From vibrators to eggs, wired to wireless and now even internet enabled a remote control sex toy can add extra dimensions to your sex play!

6. Fingertip Vibrators

These small but intensely exciting toys are vibrators that fit onto the fingertips and add a great and titillating twist on masturbation. They are usually a soft, latex rubber and are equipped with little bumps or ribs to provide extra stimulation as you move them against yourself. Alternate between designs and styles by keeping a few on each finger!

7. Venus Butterfly

This toy is, as the name suggests, a butterfly shaped vibrator. It attaches to the clitoris by elastic straps that fit around your legs and waist. Again, if you find yourself alone you can fix the butterfly in place and lay back and enjoy. But it is also useful when with a partner. As he penetrates you, the toy will vibrate on your clitoris as he chafes your G-spot. This is another toy that allows you double stimulation.

8. Sex Kit

If you’ve got something special planned, a romantic weekend away or an anniversary then something like the Kama Sutra Sweet Celebration Box is perfect. It is designed to transport your senses, allowing you to revel in the sweetness that comes from finding the perfect partner. For the chocolate lovers there’s always the old favourite, chocolate body paint!

9. Bondage Gear

Bondage isn’t all about whips and chains! Just about everyone can enjoy the feeling of being restrained while their partner plays and teases with with! For those just dipping their toes in the bondage water then something like the door jam cuffs or under bed restraint system is perfect. Or how about a beautiful set of matching ankle and wrist cuffs with blindfold to get the party started!

10. Costumes

Dressing up and playing lets pretend is a great way for couples to safely explore fantasies and to bring some spice into the bedroom. Take a look at some of the great costumes available. A baseball uniform, the not so traditional nurses uniform and of course the school girl outfit!

Remember to always clean your toys and store them according to guidelines, so you can enjoy them over and over again!

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As the old Queen song goes “Tie your lover down, give me all your love tonight” suggests, bondage plays upon many of the submissive / dominance feelings that almost everyone has. Allowing your partner to tie you up in some fashion is a way of completely submitting, & letting go. In the same way tying up your lover can provide you with a sense of complete control, if only for a few hours. Bondage in no way should be categorized with S & M or BDSM even though it very often is. S & M usually derives pleasure from giving or receiving pain whereas bondage should not include any such notions.

Simply put, Bondage is a control thing. The primary goal of bondage is to bind your partner & ravish them with pleasure without them being allowed to reciprocate in any way. This practice usually creates a heightened sense for the “bindee” & the fact of not being able to move or reciprocate adds a certain frustration to the excitement & forces them to focus on the feelings being given to them. As this frustration grows so does the excitement, usually ending with some mind shattering orgasms. This section will be primarily focused at what is known in the “scene” light bondage.

Learning the Ropes

Starting into bondage one must learn their partners tolerance for pleasure. I know this sounds a bit absurd but many people can only go so far before they must release this pleasure, usually by orgasm. Even though pain is usually not involved a “safe” word should be set up in advance with your partner so that when they have pain you will know. Some of this may sound foolish to some but one of the things bondage encourages is safety. You are basically trying to make your lover so crazy they will beg for intercourse or orgasm by teasing, licking and stroking their body until they can’t take any more. This is also part of the enjoyment for the partner binding you. Seeing your lover writhe in pleasure & begging for you will undoubtedly excite anyone to the point of insanity.

The second part of entering this practice is finding suitable bindings. The one thing that must be taken into consideration at all times with any bindings is comfort. Remember, your lover will probably struggle to a point in these bindings & if they are made of something that rubs their skin the whole act will be diminished. As we will show later on in this article, many great products are available for this practice. Most of these products will have fur lines cuffs or straps that will not rub or chafe your lover. If you’re looking for something around the house to use we would suggest silk scarves or strips of a soft material. We do not recommend the use of rope in any fashion as it can cause severe skin burns. If you happen to be lucky enough to own a post bed your anchors are already there. If not you may want to attach some eye hooks under your bed frame or just make bindings long enough to wrap around the bed frame. You can also get restraints that hook over your door if you’d prefer your lover standing! Just make sure whatever you are tying your lover to is secure, we don’t want them to slip out at the wrong moment no do we? Lastly we recommend a blindfold of some sort. Depriving your lover of sight forces them to focus on the pleasure they are feeling & heightens their other senses. Blindfolding also allows you the element of surprise with some of your ideas.

Taking them to Heaven

Once your partner is securely bound & their comfort assured, you can begin to lick, suck & tease them to heaven. Many easy to find toys can be used to create new sensations for lover. Try things such as feathers, silk items, sex toys & ice, syrups or lotions. Slowly build them up to a frenzy, taking brief moments to pause & let them recover from each new feeling.

Talk to them as you perform each of these ideas & ask them what they are feeling. Ask them to tell you what they like, & what they REALLY like. Talking to your partner through this gives them a feeling of security that allows them to enjoy the feelings without fear. It also allows you to know when something just doesn’t feel right. Make sure you listen to your lover throughout this to know if something isn’t right or if they have had enough. As we mentioned before taking them to their limit is the most important part of bondage. Many people thrive on a lover begging for intercourse as they go through the waves of excitement. Restraint on your part is essential here. You cannot let your excitement get over heated & end the session to early. Let them decide when they have reached the peak of ecstasy & then release them & make love to them. That is the thrill of bondage!

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