Talking To Your Partner About Past Lovers

by Justin on March 20, 2008

Past Lovers

Talking about past lovers isn’t for everyone. It requires a complete acceptance & trust of your lover & their past. I urge you, please do not try this unless you are completely secure in your relationship. Many jealousies can rear their ugly heads during such a conversation. After many years of discussion of our sex life, my wife & I have finally gone through this stage of our relationship & it is, what we consider the final release of inner thoughts & acceptance of each other.

Once again a beautiful & fulfilling experience, but, & I MUST STRESS THIS, we did this after many years of openness & discussion about other topics. If you feel your relationship has come to this point & you do wish to discuss your past sexual experiences, here are a few tips to help you stop a mine from blowing up in your face.

Only The Names Have Been Changed

Putting names to ex-lovers may not be a great idea, especially if the two of you hung out in the same crowds before you met. If your lover insists on names you may want to stop the conversation all together. If you feel comfortable with letting them know exactly who, & believe your relationship has the ability to handle it, by all means divulge, but we feel this may be just a bit too touchy for most relationships.

Leave the Comparisons to Consumer Reports!

Comparing a past lover with your current lover & their abilities could just be the ultimate kiss of death! The old, “were they better than me?” is just about the worst spot anyone can be put in & should be avoided at all costs. This situation is too too touchy for most people to handle whether they were better or not & may put you into a position where you feel you must “fib” a little to save your lovers feelings.

Leave out Gritty Details

I don’t know anyone, no matter how secure they are with themselves or their lover, who can hear all the gritty little details about a past sexual adventure without experiencing a bit of jealousy. Most people feel that their current lover is exactly what they have been looking for all of their life & don’t need that image dragged through the mud in front of their eyes. Knowing what you did with a certain partner should suffice, let’s not go for the graphic blow-by-blow details.

Don’t Try This at Home!

As with any information provided in this site, the choice is yours. We do however feel that this subject is about as volatile as they come & may produce some very ugly results. Once again we will say, unless you feel your relationship has grown to a level of complete trust & openness, stay away from this topic.

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