Feeling Guilty

[purple]

Some days it seems like I never manage to get everything done by time its bedtime and then am laying awake thinking of things I need to do tomorrow instead of thinking about making love. My partner is not that type. He's in bed he thinks about making love or sleeping, hopefully in that order. Its hard to not feel guilty or having to make the choice between going through the motions while making a grocery list or just saying no. I know he understands but I'm sure he's not happy about it.

[Samantha]

Is there any way between him getting home and you going to bed that you two could sit down and make a list of whatever it is you need to do the next day together? This way you could maybe split some of the responsibilities, you get everything done, and then when it comes time for bed, you don't have to think about it. All you have to think about is what youre going to do to each other.

And if he really helps you, you can even "reward" him, if you catch my drift.

Don't feel guilty. It seems like you have a lot to try to balance. A lot of people do and I'm sure you're not the only one with this problem. Good luck <3

[needhelp]

You should work on either saying "no" more often so that you are not overextended or worry less about some things. Unless it's extremely time sensitive there is very little that won't wait another day. You may be putting too much importance on the things you need to do.

[restless]

Is it that you want to have sex but you are really too busy planning things to do, or you just can't be bothered and don't know how to tell him?

[Justwantfun]

One of the things you can try is to try to throw a bit of variety into your life. Right now he sounds like he knows that if he is getting sex it will be in the bedroom. Meet him at the door one day when he gets home in a sexy outfit (or nothing) and make a little "suggestion" for a way to unwind from the day. You'd be amazed how much fun a washing machine can be on a spin cycle! LOL

jwf

[purple]

No washing machine and I'd never let it be that unbalanced (although we had one in college that was quite the ride). Big windows without curtains too so nothing in the living rom til we finally invest in something after three years of living here.

I work from home so its my job to do the housework, and care for the puppies, and other mundane things while he's out earning a living so he gets home from work, expects dinner, some relaxation and bed. Its not often I just can't be bothered (and I tell him when I can't) but its very icky to feel like I can't meet his needs because I'm trying to meet our general needs for day to day living. I'm a very detail orientated person so stressing less doesn't happen for me. If the list still has stuff on it, it nags at me.

His suggestion of course was to simply only make a list with dinner, bed, and playtime on it. And maybe a shower before repeating the bed and playtime. *shakes head*

[Justwantfun]

Every thought of morning sex? Have a bit of fun before the day and all of the things that come with it really gets started? Have you ever awakened him with a little bit of stimulation to the privates? I remember a few times where I just wanted to go to sleep but the next morning I was really in the mood!

You could try having a dinner consisting of finger foods that you feed each other. You could even have it on a try and take it to the bedroom with a little wine and maybe some candles.

You need to realize that no matter what is on the list that somethings can wait and that they will still be there tomorrow. Try a bit of variety and stirring up the "routine" of the evening.

jwf