A little pain with your pleasure?

[mindy]

I have been known to enjoy a little pain during sex every now and then... nothing crazy: hot wax, spanking, that sort of thing. My current lover has no experience in this area and isn't really sure how to do it. I've given him a safe word, but I think he's really not sure where to begin. Am I asking too much of him?

[undersexed]

This isn't an area I would be an expert in as I don't mix pain and pleasure but do get into some light bondage occasionally. Sometimes people have the same reaction to that. Start off with something little and see if he gets into it like you do. Then you can kick it up a notch from there until it's at the level that you want it to be.

[slinky]

If he's never had any experience with it and it isn't really something he fantasizes about he may just be clueless. Try asking him to do something a bit simple such as biting a bit, then work your way from there. Once he see you won't break or cry he should be able to start filling in the blanks himself unless he really just doesn't like the idea.

[Carrie]

If he's really, really not into what you are into, I would caution you about a long term relationship. Not to be a downer... but... my husband is not into some of the stuff that I really enjoy. And I miss those things a lot after 10 years of just him. I've tried to talk him into them, but he's uninterested. And it does effect our sex life, though I thought it wouldn't when we were a couple years together and getting married.