Creating a wish list section in a sex site might seem a little odd at first, but there is a method to our madness. As your discussions about each aspect of your sex life continue, you will undoubtedly touch upon some topics that interest the both of you, but you don't feel you're quite ready to venture into them. Hence begins your wish list.

This wish list may include fantasies to be fulfilled, kinks to be explored etc, etc. The important part of the wish list is that you BOTH agree that the items on the list are something you want to try. When entering the world of sexual exploration both parties will require time to open up & become comfortable with these new activities. As you begin your communications & begin to find out what the two of you want to explore you may want to start this list & touch back on it from time to time. As your relationship builds review this list & decide if any of the topics are currently possible. If they are not rediscussing them may help to further their feasibility. Some topics may also be removed from the list as each of you have had time to think about them.

This time to build your relationship & consider your wish list is especially important when considering things such as involving other people in your sex life. Things such as swinging or threesomes require a high level of trust & communication. My wife & I discussed having a threesome for over two years before actually doing it. Over the years we touched back on the subject quite often & discussed it in detail. Because of this, & for other reasons, our first was a wonderful experience for all. We attribute this to the intelligent decision to completely explore our feelings about doing it prior to the actual act. It may seem like a lot of work, but a completely open & trusting life together & an amazing sex life was well worth it.

We Are Not Talking Schoolwork Here

Using your wish list to help build a new & wonderful sex life shouldn't be work. First off you really don't need to run for the pen & paper. The second thing you may not realize is that discussing this list with your partner can itself become a real turn on & can lead to some great sex. There's something about opening up & talking about things that turn you both on that really heats up the fire, so use it often & use it well.

A Final Thought on Communication

As we reach the end of this section, (unless you're reading it out of order, well...are you?), I would like to attempt to explain how incredible a feeling opening up to your lover can be. It really is difficult to explain in words, but I will try.

Think back to when you fell in love with your partner. Do you remember that lump in your throat, the funny feeling in your stomach, the need to be with them all night long? Well opening up & accepting your lover & their desires is even better than that. We actually feel this communication & acceptance takes your relationship to a higher level than most couples will ever know. I can honestly say that I am more in love with my wife now than I have ever been & it seems to grow on a daily basis.

Too many couples today have forgotten how to talk to each other, & even more have locked up their true feelings deep inside. Our society puts pressures on us that no other society has before, & attempts to make us feel that life is only about money & success.

Too often couples feel they must hide themselves in a veil of strength, never allowing their partner to peek in at the real person inside. This stress & lack of communication are probably the cause for 90 % of the divorces in the world. To open up to your lover & allow them inside your private self is the ultimate gift & the ultimate expression of your love for them.

Add to: