One of the most difficult things a couple can master. Open and frank talk about sex can not only make your sex amazing it can save your relationship!

Most couples are going to cringe at this section the first time they read through it, but I cannot stress the importance of this exercise enough!! We must digress for just a second to the previous pages in this section, reminding you that until you find out what's going on in your lover's mind, you will not be able to move forward in your relationship! Truthful, open, unbound communication will open both of you to the pleasures that lay dormant in each other.

Starting out Slow

As nutty as it sounds, most couples don't discuss their sex life with each other & even those who do only skim over the surface as if it were not at all important. Hopefully just becoming a member of this site has started you on the path of discussing this subject with your partner. A good starting point for any lovers reading this is to discuss what each of you hopes to get out of this site. Discuss the points of your sexual relationship you would like to improve without criticizing your mate! This is important, we are all here to improve, not to criticize!

Talking About Sex Can Be Embarrassing At First!

If a subject seems a little too embarrassing to talk about at first, leave it until you both become more comfortable with it. Once the conversation has been started give each other turns explaining their desires to improve your sex life. Tell each other how you would like to improve yourself & how you would like this improvement to effect them during sex. As a side bar, I will add that some soft music & a bottle of wine may help this process along & that all other distractions should be eliminated, so shut the damn phone off! That being said we do not recommend you have these talks if the two of you are, shall we say, blasted. Even though a drink or two can "loosen up" your inhibitions you both want to be able to think fairly clearly and you definitely want to be able to remember what you said in the morning.

If your partner seems uneasy with a certain topic, back off until they become more comfortable with the conversations. As with anything this process must start at a crawl & progress slowly to a walk. During each of the next talks each of you should try to expand upon your previous conversation, taking it to the next level, but always respecting the other's tolerance for these levels. And before anyone asks this question, Yes it is OK if these conversations lead to sex. That is why we are all here isn't it?

Trust Breeds Lust!

Boy I wish I came up with that line, but alas I must give credit where credit is due, thanks Tori! Truer words have never been spoken. As your conversations continue to expand you will both begin to open up to each other. Before you know it you will both be able to discuss many topics you never thought possible. A trust will begin to surface that your partner will not judge you. It's a wonderful feeling when you finally come to the point where you can say anything about your sexual desires or needs, knowing your partner is there to listen & help. As your discussions build you should begin to discuss some of the topics listed on the left, but even if you decide not to discuss them at this given moment, continue to build up these conversations & the deep emotional connection will begin to grow between you. You will find that after using this lesson to discuss your sex life, discussing the other facets of your life will be a piece of cake!

An Open Mind

Any time a couple starts this process each partner must keep an open mind. Making a snap comment or judgement may hurt your partner at the exact time they are trusting you with the most private information they have to offer. This doesn't mean you must accept or agree to everything they say, far from it. Being part of a couple means being able to give and take. If something comes out that you really don't want to take part in you need the ability to be able to say "That's not something I'm interested in". Remember this is open and honest discussion so both partner's feelings matter. That being said a comment such as "Oh that's sick" could very well shut down lines of communication forever!

Great sex is a two way street of communication, with each partner giving as much as they can. Don't shut your partner down until you have heard them out and thought things through. If after thinking about a request you find it bothers you discuss this with your partner. Maybe things can be worked out. If they can't then at least your partner knows you have taken the time to think through what they talked about enough to make a solid decision.

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