Kinky sex is a relative term & matter for people. To some kinky sex could be leaving the lights on, while others could pursue anything from S&M to bisexuality (which in all honesty is a lifestyle, not a kink). Discussing your desires about kinky sex should be traveled slowly with your partner. As the comfort level & trust factor elevates, so will your ability to discuss these so-called kinky desires.

As with all of your discussions about sex, a totally non judgmental attitude must be kept by both parties. At the same time an honesty about what you are willing to participate in must be held. If a particular desire of your partner is something you are very strongly against explain this to your partner in a sensitive manner that will not make them feel out of sorts.

Each partner must maintain complete respect for the others feelings & limitations. Make sure to let your partner know what interests you & even those things that may interest you. Above all, remember that everyone has different levels of curiosity & that only time & real heart to heart discussions will allow each of you to truly learn where you want to take your sex life.

I'm Embarrassed to Say What I feel!

Embarrassment is a very common feeling when discussing your inner desires. Worries about rejection & possible scorn are quite common in most people. The trick to the whole matter is overcoming all of the programming society has bombarded us with & open up to your lover. Think of it this way, this is the person whom you share your most intimate gift, your body. Nothing is more beautiful. Opening up your mind & inner thoughts, or desires to your lover is, in my opinion the ultimate act of showing your lover just how much you care & trust them.

If a specific topic you wish to discuss is just a bit too embarrassing to talk about at the moment, you should continue the communication on other levels that do not bother you at that time. Allow the process to grow until the comfort level allows you to discuss these matters. No one expects you to blurt everything out in one talk. This process can take years, but once you've got the ball rolling things will progress & one day you will be able to say anything to your lover.

Are There Any Limits?

Once the communication level has elevated to a fully trusting & open level, no topic should be considered "out of bounds". To finally be able to open up to your lover completely is an experience unlike any other. Lifting the burden of secrets will bring you both closer to each other in more ways than just sex.

Any relationship should be completely open & honest. As utopian an idea as that sounds to most, it is possible & will take your life with your partner into a whole new dimension of caring & understanding. Once you have tackled the sexual issues and have been able to work towards that honesty the day-to-day problems in your life that need discussion will seem like child's play.

Now That We've Talked, What's Next?

Once you have started discussing adding kinky ideas to your sex life you may wish to try them out in practice. Just about every type of kinky sex is described in different sections of this site. These sections will help guide you through getting involved in these activities.

Once again, make sure both of you are ready to advance before attempting any of these activities. Rushing into something that one of you are not ready for could seriously damage any further ideas & could cause problems in the relationship. As you proceed into these new territories remember to respect each others boundaries & limitations. If a partner asks you to stop while trying something you must stop! No matter how passionate the moment may be, or how excited you have become you must still respect your partners requests. Ignoring a partner's request to stop can, and more than likely will, make them think twice about trying something else in the future.

If something becomes uncomfortable for either lover voice this displeasure to your partner! Don't feel that you are bound to completing the act just because you agreed to try. If there is pain or you just don't like what's happening you have to be able to tell your partner this. Again, the communication you have built must be maintained during sex and both partners must be willing to talk and to listen.

Add to: