As the old Queen song goes “Tie your lover down, give me all your love tonight” suggests, bondage plays upon many of the submissive / dominance feelings that almost everyone has. Allowing your partner to tie you up in some fashion is a way of completely submitting, & letting go. In the same way tying up your lover can provide you with a sense of complete control, if only for a few hours. Bondage in no way should be categorized with S & M or BDSM even though it very often is. S & M usually derives pleasure from giving or receiving pain whereas bondage should not include any such notions.

Simply put, Bondage is a control thing. The primary goal of bondage is to bind your partner & ravish them with pleasure without them being allowed to reciprocate in any way. This practice usually creates a heightened sense for the “bindee” & the fact of not being able to move or reciprocate adds a certain frustration to the excitement & forces them to focus on the feelings being given to them. As this frustration grows so does the excitement, usually ending with some mind shattering orgasms. This section will be primarily focused at what is known in the “scene” light bondage.

Learning the Ropes

Starting into bondage one must learn their partners tolerance for pleasure. I know this sounds a bit absurd but many people can only go so far before they must release this pleasure, usually by orgasm. Even though pain is usually not involved a “safe” word should be set up in advance with your partner so that when they have pain you will know. Some of this may sound foolish to some but one of the things bondage encourages is safety. You are basically trying to make your lover so crazy they will beg for intercourse or orgasm by teasing, licking and stroking their body until they can’t take any more. This is also part of the enjoyment for the partner binding you. Seeing your lover writhe in pleasure & begging for you will undoubtedly excite anyone to the point of insanity.

The second part of entering this practice is finding suitable bindings. The one thing that must be taken into consideration at all times with any bindings is comfort. Remember, your lover will probably struggle to a point in these bindings & if they are made of something that rubs their skin the whole act will be diminished. As we will show later on in this article, many great products are available for this practice. Most of these products will have fur lines cuffs or straps that will not rub or chafe your lover. If you’re looking for something around the house to use we would suggest silk scarves or strips of a soft material. We do not recommend the use of rope in any fashion as it can cause severe skin burns. If you happen to be lucky enough to own a post bed your anchors are already there. If not you may want to attach some eye hooks under your bed frame or just make bindings long enough to wrap around the bed frame. You can also get restraints that hook over your door if you’d prefer your lover standing! Just make sure whatever you are tying your lover to is secure, we don’t want them to slip out at the wrong moment no do we? Lastly we recommend a blindfold of some sort. Depriving your lover of sight forces them to focus on the pleasure they are feeling & heightens their other senses. Blindfolding also allows you the element of surprise with some of your ideas.

Taking them to Heaven

Once your partner is securely bound & their comfort assured, you can begin to lick, suck & tease them to heaven. Many easy to find toys can be used to create new sensations for lover. Try things such as feathers, silk items, sex toys & ice, syrups or lotions. Slowly build them up to a frenzy, taking brief moments to pause & let them recover from each new feeling.

Talk to them as you perform each of these ideas & ask them what they are feeling. Ask them to tell you what they like, & what they REALLY like. Talking to your partner through this gives them a feeling of security that allows them to enjoy the feelings without fear. It also allows you to know when something just doesn’t feel right. Make sure you listen to your lover throughout this to know if something isn’t right or if they have had enough. As we mentioned before taking them to their limit is the most important part of bondage. Many people thrive on a lover begging for intercourse as they go through the waves of excitement. Restraint on your part is essential here. You cannot let your excitement get over heated & end the session to early. Let them decide when they have reached the peak of ecstasy & then release them & make love to them. That is the thrill of bondage!

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