There is a direct connection between sexual activity and psychological as well as physical health and well-being. We’ve all heard Marvin Gaye sing about Sexual Healing, but just what did he mean? It isn’t just about good sex, but how sex is good for you. There are a number of differences a good and active sex life can make on your psyche as well as your physical health.

Firstly, the key to a good sex life is developing intimacy with your partner. There is a certain closeness and connection that a couple feels for each other that they do not share with others. This intimacy is key to a good sex life, and it’s what makes the difference between just sex and real intimacy.

Achieving the closeness requires that both partners are open with each other from the start. Being honest as well as occasionally vulnerable can increase the feeling of connection. Men are well known for hiding their feelings and problems, being reluctant to talk and trying to deal with things on their own. However, this can lead to emotional problems, which in turn lead to a lack of sexual activity due to stress and worry.

If a couple is open and tackles problems together, the weight of the issue is not just borne on one person’s shoulders. Both will feel much better for having shared it with each other. This helps create a more ideal psychological state for sexual intimacy, as well as less distraction and yet another shared connection, which brings the couple closer.

Once openness and closeness has been established within a relationship, good sex will flow thereafter! Sex is not something that can happen once or twice, or on an irregular basis, if you really want to experience all the benefits to your health. It is something that should happen often and truly be an expression of love for each other – this is not just the 5 minute quickie before work in the morning (although there is no denying their medicinal properties either) But closeness comes from the longer romantic sessions in the bedroom that last and make a couple feel as one.

In turn, the regular flow of sex allows the body some relief. Energy is expelled that may otherwise get pent up and come out in other, less beneficial or destructive ways (such as arguing). You will find yourself much happier in general as well, since physical pleasure and orgasm releases hormones such as Oxytocin and Serotonin, which are the ’happy’ chemicals released in the body. Oxytocin is also linked to the powerful pain killing effects of orgasms. Sometimes an orgasm a day really does keep the doctor away!

Sex is a form of exercise as well. No matter how slow or fast you move, calories get burnt off, the heart rate quickens naturally with excitement and the internal workings of your entire body are stimulated, which results in its own little workout. This is not to say sex can replace regular exercise, but it is a good additional activity! There have been studies showing that sex lowers blood pressure and might even protect against strokes because of its stress-relieving ability.

The spiritual and psychological aspects of a good and healthy sexual relationship are what makes a person feel more fulfilled and close to their mate. This is why sex will cheer people up, especially those who have long-term partners or spouses. There is a great amount of good that a close intimate relationship can do, not only for the individuals involved, but for the couple as a unit. Sex can be a great replacement for arguments, the distance that sometimes comes in a relationship – such as choosing to watch TV instead of being intimate, and it is a great form of communication, even if not a word is uttered. Some speculate that a good sexual relationship can also help a person live longer – although that has not been scientifically proven as of yet.

So what are you waiting for? Make love to better health!

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Menage a trois, ‘gang bang’, group sex or threesome – the performance of sexual activity between three people (sometimes more). This can involve the three people merely touching and kissing each other, to complete penetrative sex. It is a common theme in many peoples’ fantasies, but when it comes to bringing a fantasy such as this into reality, there is much to consider beforehand.

Firstly, if you (or your significant other) have decided that a threesome would be something you would like to experience, it is optimal to consult your partner first. Many people do not go for something like this, as they see it as betrayal, they can become less trusting and gain a lower self esteem. But others aren’t. If you are with somebody who shares your views and would also like to try a threesome then you both need to prepare, and the first step is reassurance between each other.

If you wish to try it for a onetime thing, but you are involved in a relationship, then you need to figure out firstly why you want to try it, and secondly that there would be no lack of feelings between the two of you as a result. Sometimes, such an act can cause psychological pain, and so it is wise to make sure you eliminate any thoughts of inadequacy or mistrust first.

After you have made sure your relationship is stable, and you are both in it for the fun and experiment, you will need to find yourself a third party… This can sometimes be tricky, since the man would want another woman and the woman would want another man! So you will have to decide what gender your third person is to be! Then it is a case of choosing who. It is wise to go with somebody you know and trust. While there are potential downsides to this, there are many benefits. You can be sure that they are disease free. You can probably trust that they will be able to remain discreet. You will also perhaps be able to gauge better, who among your friends would be interested in something like this, rather than a stranger – that is not to say, go to all you friends and ask them if they’d like to join in! You may subtly probe your closer friends – ask them about fantasies etc, that they might have.

Finding your third party may be the most difficult part, but if you are willing to risk it or wish to remain anonymous there are adult ads you can post on various websites whereby you can advertise your ideas! But always make sure to check the person out and be assured they are trustworthy. Failing that there is always the choice of ‘professional’ help. Using a prostitute can help with the reassurance for both partners. You can be sure that unless you wanted to organize a second time a prostitute will be as discreet as possible and you don’t risk any messy emotions or feelings becoming involved.

Next, you set a time and a place and then go with the flow! No one is obliged to go through with anything – a threesome can also involve someone simply watching you and your partner make love.

If you are single and wish to be involved in a threesome, you can – at your own risk – scour the ads as aforementioned, as there will probably be someone advertising just what you want! Alternatively, you can subtly find out from your friends I any of them are searching for the same thing, by joking and asking questions, even if you end up just being the voyeur for someone – it’s a start!

Whatever you decide to do, you are in control of what and how much happens. It can possibly make your (or your partners) fantasies come alive, and ultimately bring you closer! Just be sure that you are both fully aware of what you’re getting involved in. Its one thing to fantasize about a threesome but more than one solid relationship has been brought to it’s knees by bringing someone else into the bed!

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Just like fellatio and cunnilingus, Analingus is the act of oral sex, focused mainly around the anal area. It may not sound too appealing for some, but in fact many people, both women and men, enjoy the practice because of the amount of arousal they derive from it.

The anus and sphincter muscles are surrounded by very sensitive nerve endings, which, just like other areas, become highly sensitive and arousing when stimulated. The fact that oral sex provides moisture and lubrication adds to the pleasure. The muscles that surround the anus are also responsible in part for the pleasure involved in orgasm. The whole area around the genitals contracts during orgasm, in both men and women, so any stimulation around the anal area will produce similar sensations to that of stimulation around any other sensitive area.

There is also the emotional aspect involved in analingus. Usually this part of the body is not considered during sex, and therefore is often not utilized during sex. However, acceptance and so inclusion of this area is emotionally an acceptance of one’s whole body, thus strengthening the sexual love between two people. It shows one another that there is not a part on their body that they are not willing to express their love too – including the anus!

Raising the issue can be a difficult topic to approach. However you can bring it up the way you would any other ‘experimentation’ technique. In a surrounding or situation that is comfortable to you, you might start by saying you heard something about it, how would your partner like to try it…However you bring it up this is not something that is a great idea to just do, since so many people are squeamish about it. If it is not something that you both are willing to try, then it is likely that you will not be able to experiment with it. Analingus is not really something you can sneak in there! But you might try introducing it slowly by using a lubricated finger to simply massage the area on your partner, if they still don’t like it, stop. But they may find that it is arousing.

There are health risks involved however. STD’s can be transmitted through anal – oral contact, just like any other method. There is also the risk of coming into contact with fecal matter, thus presenting the opportunity for E Coli to spread. Hygiene is a must for anyone trying analingus. It is also not a good idea to practice this activity with multiple partners, as the risk of spreading diseases heightens.

Analingus is a practice that can be very enjoyable for some, but not to others. Never force anyone into something they are not comfortable with and always take things slowly regardless. You and your partner might find that it is a great new activity to introduce to your foreplay routines and may also allow you both to make a closer sexual connection.

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As the old Queen song goes “Tie your lover down, give me all your love tonight” suggests, bondage plays upon many of the submissive / dominance feelings that almost everyone has. Allowing your partner to tie you up in some fashion is a way of completely submitting, & letting go. In the same way tying up your lover can provide you with a sense of complete control, if only for a few hours. Bondage in no way should be categorized with S & M or BDSM even though it very often is. S & M usually derives pleasure from giving or receiving pain whereas bondage should not include any such notions.

Simply put, Bondage is a control thing. The primary goal of bondage is to bind your partner & ravish them with pleasure without them being allowed to reciprocate in any way. This practice usually creates a heightened sense for the “bindee” & the fact of not being able to move or reciprocate adds a certain frustration to the excitement & forces them to focus on the feelings being given to them. As this frustration grows so does the excitement, usually ending with some mind shattering orgasms. This section will be primarily focused at what is known in the “scene” light bondage.

Learning the Ropes

Starting into bondage one must learn their partners tolerance for pleasure. I know this sounds a bit absurd but many people can only go so far before they must release this pleasure, usually by orgasm. Even though pain is usually not involved a “safe” word should be set up in advance with your partner so that when they have pain you will know. Some of this may sound foolish to some but one of the things bondage encourages is safety. You are basically trying to make your lover so crazy they will beg for intercourse or orgasm by teasing, licking and stroking their body until they can’t take any more. This is also part of the enjoyment for the partner binding you. Seeing your lover writhe in pleasure & begging for you will undoubtedly excite anyone to the point of insanity.

The second part of entering this practice is finding suitable bindings. The one thing that must be taken into consideration at all times with any bindings is comfort. Remember, your lover will probably struggle to a point in these bindings & if they are made of something that rubs their skin the whole act will be diminished. As we will show later on in this article, many great products are available for this practice. Most of these products will have fur lines cuffs or straps that will not rub or chafe your lover. If you’re looking for something around the house to use we would suggest silk scarves or strips of a soft material. We do not recommend the use of rope in any fashion as it can cause severe skin burns. If you happen to be lucky enough to own a post bed your anchors are already there. If not you may want to attach some eye hooks under your bed frame or just make bindings long enough to wrap around the bed frame. You can also get restraints that hook over your door if you’d prefer your lover standing! Just make sure whatever you are tying your lover to is secure, we don’t want them to slip out at the wrong moment no do we? Lastly we recommend a blindfold of some sort. Depriving your lover of sight forces them to focus on the pleasure they are feeling & heightens their other senses. Blindfolding also allows you the element of surprise with some of your ideas.

Taking them to Heaven

Once your partner is securely bound & their comfort assured, you can begin to lick, suck & tease them to heaven. Many easy to find toys can be used to create new sensations for lover. Try things such as feathers, silk items, sex toys & ice, syrups or lotions. Slowly build them up to a frenzy, taking brief moments to pause & let them recover from each new feeling.

Talk to them as you perform each of these ideas & ask them what they are feeling. Ask them to tell you what they like, & what they REALLY like. Talking to your partner through this gives them a feeling of security that allows them to enjoy the feelings without fear. It also allows you to know when something just doesn’t feel right. Make sure you listen to your lover throughout this to know if something isn’t right or if they have had enough. As we mentioned before taking them to their limit is the most important part of bondage. Many people thrive on a lover begging for intercourse as they go through the waves of excitement. Restraint on your part is essential here. You cannot let your excitement get over heated & end the session to early. Let them decide when they have reached the peak of ecstasy & then release them & make love to them. That is the thrill of bondage!

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