Happy New Year to everyone, we all wish you the best for the coming year! Being New Year it’s the perfect time to re-evaluate your relationships and make any changes needed. It’s also a great time for setting some resolutions!

Now, it doesn’t have to be the New Year to resolve to make your relationship better or your partnership more connected.

No matter what time of year it is, you might consider a fresh start or just some improvements to the way you act toward each other and the little things you do for each other that makes you both so compatible and united. The following are some ideas for your new resolutions for your relationship.

Making more of the little things.

This includes the things that demonstrate your affection for each other. The little spontaneous kisses, hugs, strokes and caresses that your partner never needs ask nor expect you to do. Resolve to do more of these, not in a smothering manner, but enough to really let your partner know you love them and desire physical contact with them.

Compliments.

Often it is something that is taken as a given. You think your partner is a great cook or looks wonderful dressed up or smells nice one day. But many don’t ever even think of opening their mouths and telling them so. A great resolution is to compliment your partner more. It has you thinking sincerely about your partner and what you love about them, and you can put a small effort into telling them something that will mean a lot to them. A daily compliment is a wonderful way to tell your partner how much you love them.

Sex.

No matter how comfortable a couple becomes with each other, either just living together or married, they should never let their sexual relationship fade away. Make a point to create and fulfill sexy dates at home or out, and make sure to have a grand finale in the bedroom! Sex is an extremely important part of any intimate relationship since it is the ultimate physical expression of love. Rekindle your sex life by opening up that imagination and putting forth the effort to experience some love! It should be one of the top priorities in a relationship.

Do not neglect yourself.

Even in a relationship, it is important to remember your own needs and wishes. Do not get bogged down doing everything in view of your partner’s happiness, because you will forget your own happiness. Ultimately, your partner will be happy if they see you happy. While you should tend to each other, you must both tend to your own ambitions too. This will create a team spirit between you and you can both work toward achieving each other’s wants and wishes. This way, everyone is happy without being selfish or demanding, but while fulfilling the other’s needs as well as having your own satisfaction.

Arguments.

Fighting can become a major hindrance in a relationship, and so it may be a great move to resolve to argue less. Easier said than done, yes, but with a calm composure on both sides, conflicts can be resolved easily with some adult talk or the realization and determination between what is really important in life. Does it matter that something was not put back in its place correctly, or that dinner was ruined once? They are the small and insignificant things in life. While sometimes it can hurt, it is not that important in the grand scheme of things. Therefore work together in avoiding any arguments and remaining calm no matter what.

Listen to each other.

A big deal in relationships is listening. You always hear stories of people complaining about their partner who never listens to them. Well, with just a little effort, you do not need to be one of these people. When your partner talks, just listen. Acknowledge what they said and take heed. If asked to do something, do it, no matter how boring the task, the sooner it’s done then it is out of the way and everyone is happy! Listening can also be an important part of getting to know each other. Hearing your partner’s thoughts, feelings and opinions might give you insight into how they really think and what they feel. It is a great form of communication, even without speaking! Resolve to listen to your partner more and you will find how much better life can be together.

By using your imagination, you can make up some resolutions of your own too. More personal ones will differ from person to person. Therefore only you can decide what you relationship needs in way of improvement and take actions toward achieving it.

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When discussing fantasies with your lover the question of whether you wish the fantasy to become a reality, or just keep it a fantasy, must be asked. Many fantasies involve some risks & often include behavior that are outside the realm of some people’s “norm”. Then again, there are many fantasies that are very easy to fulfill & well within every couples reach.

When discussing these fantasies some sense of each others limitations must be kept. As with all of the other discussions you have, or will have, about the various aspects of your sex life, an open mind & a nonjudgmental attitude must be held. This applies more so to fantasy talk than any of the other topics we have covered.

Some fantasies may be taken out of context & create an illusion of a sexual act that may appear on the surface as one thing when in fact that is not at all what the person had in mind. The most common example of this misconception is the rape fantasy. No person in the world would truly enjoy being raped, it is a sick & sadistic crime, but many have fantasies about what we could call, a controlled rape. Of course this would be with a person they knew & trusted & would not include any violence of any kind.

There are several other fantasies of this nature that must be cautiously examined but that is for another section. The point of this all is to make you realize that not all fantasies are within the grasp of a normal couple & some are meant to stay just that, a fantasy.

What should be considered a fantasy?

When talking about your fantasies with each other you must be able to openly discuss & listen to what each other is saying. I repeat LISTEN TO WHAT EACH OTHER IS SAYING! A fantasy is someone’s special place where they are usually the center of attention. These can also be a hidden desire longing to be fulfilled. A persons fantasy is something that belongs to them & is usually very special to them, kind of like a child’s special “pretend world”.

Tread lightly when talking about anyone’s fantasy so as not to criticize. Belittling a persons fantasy can have serious emotional effects! Fantasies can be anything from candlelit bathes with wine & oils to bisexual curiosities. As with all of our discussions in this section the level of trust & comfort with your partner will dictate the amount of information you are willing to share. Start gradually & allow these talks about fantasies to go forward at their own pace. Never force someone to divulge something they are not quite ready to tell you. Give it time & practice, it will come to you both as you become closer in your relationship.

Are there Any Taboos?

There are several subjects that may be considered a fantasy, but in reality are not what most couples would consider acceptable. Telling your lover that you fantasize about your secretary at work or the pool boy are not what we are going for here. These fantasies are better left in the closet until your relationship is utterly bulletproof, but I wouldn’t count on it.

Fantasies may include other people in such manners as threesomes or swinging. Many women fantasize about two or more guys at one time & I don’t think there is a man alive who hasn’t dreamt about two women. These are healthy & completely normal fantasies that may be within your grasp, once your relationship is strong enough. Bisexual fantasies are also very prevalent & require this same stability in the relationship.

Our philosophy is this, anything two people do in the privacy of their lives, with or without other people, that doesn’t harm the other partner or damage the relationship in any way is healthy, BUT, it takes complete trust, respect & a healthy relationship to allow it. Communication, once again will help you explore these fantasies in a non threatening manner to see if you wish to proceed. Jumping into any of these fantasies without completely discussing them in advance may cause irreparable harm.

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