Everything seems perfect about your partner…except for the sex? When you’re happy in so many other ways, it can be tempting to believe that bad sex is no big deal. But make no mistake, this can be a relationship killer. Remember what they say about the big 3: Money, Sex, and Children. If you’re not together on those things, your relationship doesn’t have much of a chance. But before you give up, work on it! Improving your sex life is totally within your power.

You must maintain a sexual component in your relationship that is satisfying, in order to maintain intimacy and a connection that will last far after the fairy dust of a new relationship has worn off. Rule number 1: Moving in together or getting married will not solve any sexual problems you have. In fact, it’s likely to make them worse, because familiarity usually causes a drop off in sex. If your sex life is not all that great, it will lead to other problems outside the bedroom such as frustration, resentment, and a distancing between you two.

So now that you’re convinced to work on the problem, here are some common problems and ideas to help synchronize you two sexually and improve that part of the relationship.

1. It doesn’t feel that great. If your partner isn’t doing things for you that turn you on or get you where you want to go, it may be due to embarrassment. Everyone is different and what works for one person may not work for the next. It can be hard to know which of those individual buttons to push to make you moan. Rather than fail, your partner just might not try hard enough. The best way to share what you like is to demonstrate what you do when you’re alone. Most people love to watch their partners masturbate, so don’t be shy. As you get aroused, you may want to let your partner participate…that’s up to you!

2. Mismatched equipment. If there’s a mismatch in equipment, the best way to solve it is by doing some positional strategizing. A less-than-long penis is usually enjoyed best in the missionary position, with the lady’s legs up towards her chest for deeper penetration. For a narrow penis, place the lady on her back or stomach with legs closed together, putting the mans legs outside hers. That will create a tighter fit. A too large penis can be accommodated best with the lady on top, so that she can control the depth. Also be sure you’re plenty aroused before penetration – arousal engorges everything and gives a sense of fullness.

3. Boredom. Sometimes people limit their “wild” sexual experiences to one- night stands or meaningless hookups. There may be some reluctance to bring that kind of raunchiness into a stable relationship, thinking that it will cheapen the relationship in some way. Sex experts assure us that not only is that not the case, it’s very important to incorporate some wild sex into a healthy long-term relationship, because it banishes boredom. The first step is to start talking about fantasies you’ve had that you might like to try. These might include sex toys, role playing, or kinky adventures. Watching a movie of people doing what you’re considering can be a good way to explore the idea together.

4. Low libido. New research has shown that about half of people need to get turned on mentally in order to move to physical contact, while the other half of people need to get turned on physically in order to get turned on mentally. You may need to take the first step of making physical contact, kissing and cuddling, before you’ll start to really feel in the mood. A change of pace or scenery can also jump start the libido. Try doing something totally new together, like kayaking or go to some new place you’ve never been before.

5. Non-sexual problems. There may be other things interfering with your sex life such as your own fears and concerns about the relationship. If you don’t feel happy in the relationship and want out, your sex drive will go down. If you have a history of negative sexual experiences, you may have trouble overcoming them even with the best of partners. If you two are fighting a lot lately, or feeling jealous, resentful, or neglected, all of these things will definitely affect your sex life. If these things might be happening in your life, don’t force the sex issue. Try to get whatever it is that’s bothering you out on the table to talk about. If you can resolve it yourselves, wonderful. If not, there are counseling resources for couples that may be able to help you sort out your differences.

Just a reminder that sexual problems don’t tend to simply clear themselves up, so it’s important not to shove them under the rug hoping they’ll just go away. Dealing with these problems may not always be pleasant to do, but it’s the only way to move ahead towards enjoying that awesome sex life you’ve been hoping for.

Related posts:

1. Relationship Resolutions Happy New Year to everyone, we all wish you...
2. New Relationship Energy If you’ve ever basked in the glow of a...
3. Why Sex Is Good For You There is a direct connection between sexual activity and psychological...

Once you’ve chosen an online dating service, you’ll want to make the most of your investment. Even if the service you’ve chosen is free of charge, online dating represents an investment of your time and energy. It’s not like perfect dates will automatically arrive in your inbox! The success you have with online dating will be directly proportional to the effort you invest in finding good matches.

In fact, if you just let your account languish without attention, you’ll undoubtedly be the victim of spam – people who send “form emails” without any personalization (and without even reading your profile). Needless to say, those are not likely to be the best matches for you.

So the first thing you’ll want to do is find (or take) some really nice digital photos of yourself, and spend some time carefully filling out your profile. Rule #1 with your profile: be honest! It is amazing to me the number of people who lie about their height or weight or some other fundamental personal characteristic, as if once I fall in love with them online, I won’t mind that they lied when I meet them in person. It’s ridiculous. Just remember, you don’t have to be Adonis or Aphrodite to have success with dating online (or anywhere else for that matter). You want partners who love and accept you for who you really are, inside and out, so you don’t have to try to keep up an act or pretend for the duration of the relationship!

Once your profile is up, and before you start browsing other people’s profiles, think a little bit on your own about the kind of person are looking for in a dating partner or partners. This pre-browsing thought will help you not only look at photos, but really read the profiles too, to see if these people are compatible for you. The photos are important, of course, but remember that everyone has chosen the most flattering photos of themselves they can find. The real person will probably look similar, but perhaps not quite as dazzling. So, if there are compatible aspects to your profiles, in addition to nice photos, you have a better chance of making a good match.

So, how do you handle it when you find someone interesting, and they find you interesting too? I suggest exchanging some emails and then moving on to chat. If the person is located close by and you want to go ahead and meet for coffee, that’s fine too. I personally like to get to know the person a little better before meeting them, because often in the first few emails or chats you can learn a whole lot about them and decide if it’s worth meeting. It’s sort of like learning a new language: at first you learn a lot really fast, and then as you get to know them better it takes longer to learn the nuances and details. What I don’t recommend is spending a very long time getting to know them online, because it’s too easy to hide certain aspects of yourself. You might be falling in love with an idea more than with a real person. The other problem with “falling in love online” is that there is that essential component of interpersonal chemistry, based on pheromones and other physiological aspects. You simply have to see a person, in person, feel their vibe and even smell them, before you’ll know if a “real” relationship is possible.

Of course, there are anecdotes of people meeting and dating only online, falling in love and getting married and living happily ever after. But I promise you, most relationships don’t work that way. Meeting in person is the only way you will be sure that you feel as good about this person as you thought you did.

One of the downsides of online dating is that, not surprisingly, you’ll be initiating and ending relationships fairly quickly. All those little breakups, even if the relationship wasn’t that long or deep, are hard to live with. It’s not easy to look into the eyes of your hopeful and enamored companion and say, “No thank you.” It takes a certain kind of courage, which is important to have, so you don’t get sucked into longer and longer relationships that you don’t really want, out of fear of hurting someone’s feelings.

Get used to the idea now: you will hurt some people’s feelings when you decide you don’t want to see them anymore, and they still want to see you. But it is far, far better to let them go early, to find someone who really enjoys them and wants to be with them, than to string them along and keep them dating someone (you) who would really rather be with someone else. Think about it in reverse: would you want someone to continue dating you, even if they didn’t really want to, out of fear of hurting your feelings?

So, online dating does take a bit of a thick skin. You will dump and be dumped, probably many times, before you find “the one” or even a relationship that lasts. If you can handle that dynamic, however, it will help you learn to be more honest and upfront in your relationships, which is always a good thing.

The other thing to keep in mind as you date online is that almost everyone you meet will be a reasonably nice, interesting person who is worth spending an evening with. If you can focus on enjoying meeting interesting people, without focusing exclusively on completing some elaborate checklist you have for your future marriage partner, the (much) more you and your dates will enjoy the experience.

Related posts:

1. Making Sex Fun Again Is your love life losing some of its fire?...
2. New Relationship Energy If you’ve ever basked in the glow of a...
3. Relationship Resolutions Happy New Year to everyone, we all wish you...

It’s almost that time of year again, the Christmas decorations have been up for weeks and the weather is either heating up or cooling down depending which side of the world you’re on. When it comes to Christmas you can have a lot of fun with stocking fillers. You don’t need to spend a fortune to come up with some fun, flirty and sexy gift ideas for your lover this Christmas. Here’s our run down of sexy stocking fillers for under $10!

Sexy Coupons

These sexy I.O.Us can be cashed in for various sexy favours at a later date. Make your own and you can personalise the favours to include anything your heart desires from household chores to that kinky thing your partner just loves! Check out these fun coupon books including bedroom bucks, stripper bucks and blowjob bucks!

Batteries

Not exactly the most romantic gift but we all know how disappointing it can be when your new toy doesn’t come with batteries. Slipping some batteries into the Christmas stocking is a simple way of making sure things will keep buzzing on Christmas morning!

Lube

This super-slippery gifts make a great stocking filler. A water-soluble, condom-friendly formula lube is best and can be safely used with all types of adult toys, condoms, and other items. If anal is more your thing then get a specific anal lube.

Something Kinky

If your after something a little more kinky then how about some bondage tape or wrap, this stuff is great for impromptu restraints or even making your own kinky skirt or top. Non sticky and reusable is the gift that keeps on giving! Whether you or your partner want to try out bondage fantasy toys or you’re old-school kinksters, the Candy Ball Gag is a sweet way to spice up your play!

Toys

Sex toys don’t have to be expensive to be fun. A small cheap bullet can be fun, this 2″ one is water proof so it’s great for some bath time fun. You can even pick up a small finger vibrator for under $10 that would make a great addition to any toy collection. For the man in your life how about a masturbation sleeve? Or for the more adventurous how about some anal beads?

Looking for something else? Check out these other ideas for some great stocking fillers for under $10!

Related posts:

1. 10 of the Best Sex Toys for Couples Sex toys are a great way to liven up...
2. Sex On The Beach If you’re feeling like your sex life has gotten...
3. A Newbie’s Experience with Submission I am a member of OkCupid.com, a very open...

Many women mistakenly think that there is no good porn for women out there. They find most porn to be full of ugly men, women with fake boobs and too much makeup, and a serious lack of plots or interesting characters.

They also complain that the women never seem to enjoy themselves and that the porn is always about the men’s cum shots.

However, over the last couple of decades, porn made by and for women has become increasingly available. In fact, porn for women is capturing more of the porn market, because, interestingly, both men and women are buying it. To find porn for women or couples, however, you have to look outside the mainstream. Mainstream porn isn’t going to satisfy most women’s tastes, so you have to look a little harder to find the good stuff. Isn’t that the way life usually works?

One thing to keep in mind is that women’s taste in porn varies widely. Some women enjoy degradation, for example, while others are completely turned off by it. However, female directors of porn are producing better options for everyone because they understand what turns women on.

One of the first female porn directors was Candida Royalle who produced films with a plot, real bodies, attractive actors, no cumshots, and women having orgasms. Today, more directors are producing a wide range of films featuring different types of sexuality. For example, Kimberly Kane produces “dirty and hot” movies, while Madison Young combines intelligence, BDSM, and art in all of her films. Camille Crimson brings out the best in oral sex and Tristan Taormino features strong female sexuality in her work. Shine Louise Houston is a specialist in queer porn and puts the mainstream lesbian porn out there to shame.

Since 2006, the Feminist Porn Awards have been finding and rewarding good porn for women based on the following criteria:

. A woman must be involved in production, writing, or direction
. It depicts genuine female pleasure
. It expands the boundaries of sexual representation on film and challenges stereotypes often found in mainstream porn

Following are a few sites that offer good porn for women or couples:

• Porn for Women @ Stockroom
• Porn for Couples @ Adam & Eve
• Good Releasing

You can also try looking under couples porn or porn for couples at your favourite adult video store.

The final note is that you may have to try more than one of these directors or films to find the ones that work best for you – don’t give up, there’s a lot out there to choose from and something’s bound to turn you on.

Related posts:

1. Top 5 Mistakes Women Make In Bed When it comes to mistakes, you don’t want them...
2. Taking Sexy Videos and Photos – Home Made Porn Making your own porn, whether for your enjoyment or...
3. Great Relationship, Bad Sex? Everything seems perfect about your partner…except for the sex?...

When it comes to mistakes, you don’t want them mentioned in the same sentence as sex.  Especially by your lover.  However, even the most libidinous of women would have to admit to at least one of these love-making no-no’s.  Even though you may think you know what the man in your life wants in bed, the truth (straight from men) is that when it comes to steamy sex that keeps him coming back for more – many of us are in the dark.  And that, specifically, is one of the first problems.

1. Don’t be afraid of keeping the lights on. Wine tasting just isn’t the same unless you can catch a glimpse of the rich burgundy sloshing around in the glass and sex is the exactly the same.  Men don’t care about your stretch marks, certainly in the midst of sex – and they don’t want you to hide from them.  Let them see you naked, and don’t ruin the momentum by getting up to switch off the lights or blow out a candle.  You may not think your body is perfect, but men like to see exactly what they are feeling, your eyes, and the expression of pleasure on your face.  So keep the lights on.  Plus, if you are focusing on your faults or on the chance that he might catch a glimpse of your butt – you aren’t giving sex the attention it needs and deserves.
2. Tell him what you want! There is nothing wrong with giving your man a little instruction.  Lying in the aftermath, him guessing whether you enjoyed yourself – does nothing to make him feel good about his performance.  And let’s be honest…it does nothing for you either.  Your body didn’t come with an instruction book, so if you tell him what you like, where you like it and how – you will both get so much more out of sex.  Plus, knowing that he can bring you pleasure, each and every time (for real this time) will silently but powerfully rub that male ego of his.
3. Initiate sex. Okay ladies, long gone are the days of waiting on a man to ask you out on a date, pay for your dinner, or change the tire on your car.  So why are you waiting on him to initiate sex?  Take control and hop on his lap right in the middle of that Sunday football game.  On your way home from a dinner date, allow your hands to drift while he’s driving so he knows exactly what you want when you get home.  There is nothing hotter than a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it!  Trust me, you won’t get turned down and it will go miles to making your relationship sexier and more interesting.  If your man isn’t around and you are in the mood – then send him a suggestive text or picture so he knows exactly where your mind is.  Chances are he’ll be home sooner than you think.
4. Change things up a bit. Most couples get stuck in a rut of who’s on top, where they have sex and even when.  If you aren’t a sex expert, then you might want grab a book or video that introduce you to some new positions!  Be willing to try anything at least once and if it doesn’t work out, you never have to do it again.  But at least you tried.  Men love, love, love knowing that you are adventurous and willing to step outside the metaphorical box to mix things up a bit.
5. Be a good student! Your last beau may have had some definite preferences when it came to sex.  Unfortunately, they may not work with your new man.  Take the time to explore his body with your hands and mouth to see what really gets him going, rather than rely on routine methods and techniques.  This way you can truly and uniquely connect sexually with the man in your life, which is the very best way to show him just how much he means to you

Think of sex as an ongoing field of study.  Your body was created to feel incredible sensations and connections through the vehicle of making love, but you have to be open to them.  Avoiding these mistakes is just a start, but chances are they can dramatically improve your love life.

Related posts:

1. Porn for Women Many women mistakenly think that there is no good...

Environmentalists have long argued that the phthalates found in sex toys are leeching into our bodies, and compare using a vibrator containing phthalates to voluntarily ingesting other deadly chemicals. Is your best friend doing you more harm than good? Could using your trusty rabbit be harming your health?

Take a look around the average sex shop and you’ll see hundreds toys from vibrators, butt plugs and dildos. The vast majority of which are made from some form of plastic.

Phthalates are a compound used in the manufacture of plastics. They are added during the manufacturing process to make the resulting plastic more pliable. The more “jelly-like” the toy, generally, the more phthalates are used.

A study conducted in 2004 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, tested samples of urine from 2,540 people and found traces of phthalates in more than 75 percent of tested subjects. Although they concluded that there was insufficient evidence that they are harmful in humans. More recently, a 2009 study concluded that prenatal exposure to phthalates could lead to later issues with children and could be linked to obesity.

Phthalates escape from plastic in a gas form, and we inhale high concentrations of this every time a vacuum-sealed plastic package is opened to reveal that shiny new pink dildo. They also leech from the plastic in an oily film, which is then absorbed by the skin and through mucous membranes such as those found in our mouths and other more delicate areas.

Although steps have been taken by the U.S., as well as Canada and Europe to limit the use of phthalates in children’s toys, but no such regulations currently exist for erotic toys. The issue stems from the fact that many of the toys you see in shops are actually classed as ‘Novelties’ for novelty use only. This subtle classification means that the materials that go into making these ‘toys’ are unregulated. Manufacturers do not have to be concerned that these products are coming in contact with sensitive and absorbent areas of the body.

Classified as novelties, the FDA does not regulate the kinds of materials going into a sex toy. This broad band labeling as a novelty allows producers to put any type of material they want into a sex toy, and manufacturers are disavowed of any responsibility or liability because the toys are labeled with a caution that they are “not intended for actual use”. With that caveat attached to each product, they are often produced with cheap materials, which have dubious effects on both our bodies and the environment.

So what’s a girl to do? Personally I avoid these ‘novelty’ items like the plague. Why would you put yourself at risk when there are plenty of private manufacturers that produce high quality, safe products? There are now a huge number of toys available made from an amazing range of materials from ceramics through glass to metals and even wood. We’ve been personally testing and reviewing some of them and we’ll be publishing our ‘findings’ soon, just need to do a little more ‘testing’ first.

Related posts:

1. 10 of the Best Sex Toys for Couples Sex toys are a great way to liven up...
2. Sexy Stocking Fillers for under $10 It’s almost that time of year again, the Christmas...