I came from a place of problems where the topic of anal sex is concerned. Years back I had a boyfriend that tried anal sex without any warning to me whatsoever and the pain was unbearable. Let’s just say that was the last time he ever tried anything with me again. Since I had that experience my mind was completely shut off to the idea of ever doing or even trying it again.

My husband always hinted at (ok, maybe not hinted more like expressed) his desire to try anal sex with me. We talked about my past experience and he reassured me that was a normal response for what happened, so I agreed to trying one more time. We did try a few times, but the pain returned and I finally told him that I didn’t think this would ever happen. There was no way that I could ever relax enough knowing that the pain could be there.

Me being the person that I am and wanting to please my spouse thought I would give it a try, by myself, to see if it was even possible. After all that is how I managed to have my first orgasm, by myself without any disturbances to distract me and at my own pace.

So I guess the first thing I should mention is that I made sure I had a good lube close by, an extremely important thing to have. I started out masturbating with my rabbit vibe and orgasmed a few times to help me get in the mood. When I felt the desire for more I tried to insert the vibe, very slowly, very gently. To tell you the truth it didn’t work the first time, but I tried and that in and of itself was a major step to accomplish. You would think that I would start out with something small wouldn’t you? The next time I tried I made sure I used something a bit smaller. It was one of those hide-a-vibes, smoother and thinner, just the size I needed for what I wanted it for. Again I set myself up for this in the same way as before and this time it worked. I was like “wow, this is possible for me”.

The next few times I used the same vibe because I knew it worked for me and slowly I did a gradual build up to a larger size toy. After all how many men are a 1/2″ in diameter? It took me a few months to work my way up to the size I needed to be able to have my husband perform this, basically because it wasn’t an every night event. When I knew I was ready I surprised him one night and moved his penis from my vagina to my anus. To say the least he was surprised and I know he enjoyed every minute.

Now that I was able to break threw the problems I was having before, it has become extremely enjoyable for me also. It’s a completely different feeling, a whole new sensation of pleasure. I was asked to describe this new feeling but I’m not sure how to explain it. It’s an all over body feeling, it’s like the rest of your body orgasming.

To this day we cannot just dive right in, we have to start with something smaller to help relax the muscles. We have a couple of smaller glass dildos that are prefect for this and of course plenty of lube is always needed. We use astroglide or anal ease for lube and as long as there is plenty of it there is no pain. If you start to “dry out’ during anal sex simply add more lube. Remember, unlike the vagina the anus is not self lubricating. As you become more comfortable with it you may also be able to “graduate” to DP (double penetration) by using a toy along with your mate.

This is a process that takes time and patience. Is it worth the time you ask, for me it was.

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